I am so looking forward to my show on Saturday, August 10. My good friend, Gary Roe will be in studio with me for the whole hour. Our topic? Answers for Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse. He, along with another long-time friend, Cec Murphy, has authored a tremendous resource to the body of Christ.
Let’s face it…based on the statistics, chances are you are either: married to, the sister of, daughter or, cousin of, or friend of a male survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I know it’s a difficult subject to address, but if it’s left in the dark, healing never comes and the abundant life Jesus came to give is never realized.
Here’s the truth. Survivors of sexual abuse face a long road to recovery, a journey in which they often ask, “Shouldn’t I be there by now?” Having faced the recovery process themselves, Cecil Murphey and Gary Roe, in Not Quite Healed: 40 Truths for Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse honestly and openly assure fellow survivors that healing is a process, which by definition means it doesn’t happen quickly—but it will happen.
Not only do the authors understand, encourage, explain, relate, and guide survivors to the path of healing, they shed light on eye-opening truths about abuse that are beneficial to family, friends and those in ministry. For example, the majority of survivors of childhood sexual abuse were kids who did not feel loved by or of value to their parents and sought the attention and affection of an adult who would show kindness to them. In fact, most perpetrators of sexual abuse (whether male or female) are adults a child not only knows, but trusts. Abusers have a keen ability to find and target such children and take advantage of their vulnerability and innocence.
A victim’s need for love, a sense of abandonment and violation of trust affects relationships for a lifetime. Most men experience difficulty in expressing their emotions, and male survivors feel less like real men if they admit their pain. However, as the writers proclaim, no one heals alone, and they hope the stories and experiences within Not Quite Healed will give readers strength to face the road ahead. Murphey and Roe know about struggling to rely on God, living behind a mask, dealing with flashbacks or wrestling with the need for forgiveness. They dive deep into the long-term effects of abuse such as pornography addiction, same-sex attraction, varying degrees of fear and anxiety and other behaviors spurred on by a need for approval and acceptance.
Gary was born and raised in North Texas and comes from a difficult background of abuse. He came to Christ at age 11 through the influence of friends and a Sunday School teacher. When his family disintegrated, another family took him in and treated him as their own. It was in this new environment that Gary experienced the love of Christ in a very powerful and practical way. This influence eventually led him to dedicate his life to Christ in full-time service.
Gary speaks and writes from more than 30 years of ministry, including campus ministry, church-planting in Japan, discipleship-training in Hawaii, and three pastorates in Texas and Washington. He now serves as a hospice chaplain, writer, and speaker in central Texas. He is the co-author (with New York Times Best-seller Cecil Murphey) of Saying Goodbye: Facing the Loss of a Loved One (Harvest House, 2013) and Not Quite Healed: 40 Truths for Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse (Kregel, 2013). He is also the author of Good Grief, a free web-based grief recovery course available through his website. He writes inspirational columns for several Texas newspapers and also contributes regularly to Shattering the Silence, Cecil Murphey’s blog ministry for sexual abuse survivors. Gary has three adopted daughters from Colombia and absolutely loves being a dad.
So mark your calendars now for Saturday, August 10, from 11AM to Noon CST on AM 630 KSLR or streaming live on http://www.kslr.com or http://www.iheartradio.com. We’ll be giving away two free copies of the book, and the phone lines will be open for questions and comments. And, we will continue the conversation off the air at El Jarro’s Mexican Restaurant at 12:30 (www.eljarro.com) so plan to join Gary and I for a no host lunch.