It’s been a hard day. I had a talk with God this morning about my priorities.
Right now I have 3 full time jobs:
• Publisher at Redemption Press
• Talk Show Host at Always Faithful Radio
• Soon-to-be Pastor’s Wife
I’ve tried to develop a support base for Always Faithful, but with the move to the Seattle market and my cost for each show doubling over what I paid in San Antonio, the Lord has not seen fit to open doors for supporters to underwrite the full cost of the show.
As I asked Him this morning what He was trying to say to me, I remembered the scripture in Deuteronomy 24 that refers to newlyweds and how the husband should not be sent off to war or have other commitments during the first year. While we are not under the law, the principle of guarding and protecting the first year of marriage still rings of Truth and wisdom.
I realized I am about to embark on a very important calling, being a pastor’s wife. I didn’t set out to become a pastor’s wife, I just happened to fall in love with a pastor. And because God so clearly orchestrated our relationship, I know that I am being faithful to His call if I set this assignment as a top priority.
Combine that truth with the lack of funds God used to get my attention, and I had a big decision to make. Do I continue to invest money I don’t really have to keep the show afloat? No. I think not.
I believe God is asking me to lay down my favorite thing to do…radio ministry…to take a break for 6 months to a year…and to focus my energy on my husband-to-be and Redemption Press…the vehicle God used to bring me back to Washington.
The way I’ve developed the radio ministry takes a lot of time and effort. Finding quality guests, scheduling them, traveling an hour+ each way to do the show, scheduling devotionals, bench pictures with scriptures, posting about upcoming guests and pod-casts from shows already aired. Let’s face it, it’s a big job, and something I must realize I cannot keep going just because I love it. I must surrender it, and allow God to resurrect it in His time.
And so, it’s a bittersweet feeling. To know I’m laying on the altar my Isaac, but doing it in obedience to God, feels right…but it still hurts. My heart is breaking because this has been a ministry that has meant a lot to me. But letting it go is what I must do.
Focusing on the man God has given me and the business God has birthed is just what He wants me to do, and I will love doing both. Sure, I will grieve the loss of the radio ministry, but I know that God is faithful, and He can, and will, bring it back to me if it is His will in the future. But for now, I must slow down…yield…stop spinning so many plates…re-focus my life on what God is working…and trust Him for the outcome.
Thanks to all of you who have encouraged me over the last 11 months. This radio broadcast ministry has been a wild ride, but I have loved every minute. I pray that God will open doors for more in the future…but for now, I must say adieu.
And so, this last Saturday’s show is my last. It was a great one, and I hope you all take a moment to listen to it. The title of “Love Junkies” I think gave a wrong impression to some, but it was amazing content. God willing, there might be more shows someday, but for now, I will be the best pastor’s wife I can possibly be, and work hard at developing Redemption Press for His glory.
Love in Christ,